Hummus Day at the Yard

I was taking a long detailed look at the S.F. Giant's baseball schedule, and noticed that most of the dates have some “special” thing going on—Lots of “heritage” games. In case you're wondering, that's something on the order of Chinese Heritage Night (with a special hat or bobblehead or something as a give-away) or Korean Heritage night, with much the same sort of thing going on in addition to the mandatory baseball contest between my beloved Giants and some lesser baseball club. I have no grief with the Chinese, or the Japanese, or pretty much any other “ese” or ethnic group or religion, unless the group preaches “Death to America” as a substantial part of their credo. I guess that's why there's no Iranian Heritage night.

Looking further, there's all sorts of “special” nights and days—Metallica, Marvel Superheroes, University of California (Berkeley), Autism, LGBT, Jewish…..The list goes on, culminating (at least for me) with Peanut Allergy Day. Peanut Allergy Day. No, I'm not making this up.

Here's what Major League Baseball seems to have forgotten. If EVERYTHING is special, then NOTHING is special. On the other hand, maybe it's just that MLB hasn't as yet covered all their bases, if you get my meaning, and I think you do. Here are some suggestions on some more “special” game designations, that seem to have been sadly overlooked so far. They are ALL important to some segment of the baseball fan population:

-12 Grain Bread and Hummus Day
-Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Night
-Gypsy Heritage Night
-Senator Joe McCarthy Remembrance Night
-Tattoo Removal Night
-Acne Awareness Day
-Alimony Day
-Breast Implant Day
-We Hate Each Other From The Old Neighborhood Day
-My Printer Is Out Of Ink Night
-Red-Head Appreciation Day
-Knitting and Quilting Seminar Day
-Waterboarding Is Not Torture Night
-Nipple Ring Night
-I'm Gonna Sue Your Ass Off Day
-Half Polynesian/Half Black Heritage Night
-Bring Back Calvin and Hobbes Week
-Erectile Dysfunction Awareness Night

I hope I didn't leave anyone (other than those NAMBLA perverts) out. If I did, I'll try to fix it next season.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Very Simple Request

In the late 1970s (that would be during the Carter administration and THAT gas crisis), I drove a Datsun 1200 for a while.   It was a good, small, simple car, and I could afford it even though I had virtually no money. As I recall, it had 12 or 13 inch wheels, no power anything, a four cylinder engine, and a four speed manual transmission.   It was light weight with no amenities.   None.   It had an AM only radio and a tinny little speaker.   No air conditioning either—can you imagine?   No AIR??   On the freeway, when larger cars would pass, the jet wash would buffet the car slightly after the larger car passed.   It was orange, and it routinely got 35 to 50 MPG.   40 to 50 on the freeway and 35 to 45 around town.   When the tires wore out, it was about as expensive as putting new tires on your bicycle.   If it needed brakes, it was about as expensive as putting brakes on your bicycle.   Did I just repeat myself? Here's w...
Read more

Karma

I see that the Marlin's Scott Cousins has been placed on the 15 day disabled list with a "lower back strain", and has been replaced on their active roster by Hanley Ramirez.  And that the Marlins are 3-18 since leaving San Francisco. Karma's a bitch.
Read more

For Love of the Game

  OK then. Baseball is finally over for my beloved Giants. Thank goodness. This leadership pair of Farhan Zaidi and Gabe Kapler has created a baseball team and method that’s just pitiful. It’s painful to watch. And boring. Tedious. A struggle. Never knowing from day to day who is going to be on the club as players or where they might be in the batting order or what positions they might play. No stars. The way Kapler handles pitchers makes it even worse. One result of the inconstancy in player positions is that the Giants lead all of baseball in errors committed in an era of lower error rates in baseball. I can’t be the only one who sees the problem and the source of said problem. It’s no puzzle why the Giants find it impossible to sign truly first rate talent. I’m a big fan of Mike Yastrzemski and Brandon Crawford, but, other than that…….Who would want to subject themselves to that nonsense, anyhow? It’s no wonder that the ballpark is habitually empty, or nearly so. ...
Read more