Brimstone
I know a guy who knows a guy. The guy
my guy knows is from Canada. That guy found all 13 episodes of
Brimstone being broadcast. In Canada. He taped them. Then he
edited the commercials out of them. Then he made some DVDs out of
the finished products. Then I got them. And watched them.
It's nice to know a guy who knows a
guy.
Television Notes from the Rust
Belt.....Youngstown, Ohio
This is more or less straight forward.
NYPD detective's wife gets raped. They catch the rapist but he gets
off on a technicality (go figure). NYPD detective tracks down the
rapist and kills him (sometimes there's justice, sometimes there's
just us). NYPD detective is subsequently shot to death in an
unrelated incident, and because of his previous behavior, is sent
directly to hell. Where he is to spend eternity. Except that 113 of
the most vile souls in hell escape back to Earth. Satan, being a
pretty smart cookie himself, enlists the aid of the NYPD detective to
recapture the 113 escapees and send them back to hell.
Figure one soul per week, 113 weeks,
and that makes 113 episodes, then straight to syndication and a
lifetime of residuals for the principals. Except that FOX
Entertainment canceled this winner after 13 episodes. Idiots.
We got Peter Horton as Zeke (Ezekial
Stone, the detective). He apparently escaped hell at some point and
became Max Ryan on the Geena Davis show, then subsequently returned
to hell when he became Ted the Urologist in 2005s Happy Endings.
We got Maryland native John Glover as
Lucifer. He's been everywhere and done everything, but this was a
crowning role for him. Played the Devil with aplomb. The chemistry
between Satan and detective Ezekial Stone was something to behold.
We got Dover, Delaware native and
former Playboy model Teri Polo as the succubus sent literally
straight from the depths of hell to muck things up a bit.
And then we got the slightly bizarre
Tennessee product Lori Petty as Max, a frequent cast member in
Brimstone. She was Tank Girl, and a whole lot of other people, but
she will forever be Tank Girl to me.
Favorite quotes from this series:
The Devil: God's universe is not like
the American legal system. You do something, you pay for it.
[In an Elevator]
Ezekiel Stone: Going up or down?
The Devil: Guess.
Ezekiel Stone: You really push a man to
the brink.
The Devil: I am the brink.
[Going through Stone's mail]
The Devil: Junk mail, mostly. One of my
lesser triumphs.
There were many more—You'll just have
to watch for yourself. I'm pretty sure the writers had a ball with
this stuff. I know that I would have.
When this series was canceled without
ceremony, there were 6 more episodes in various stages of completion.
If you're interested, they're listed at
http://www.johnglover.info/brimstone/unfilmed.html.
If you happen to catch these on Chiller
or SyFy, it's time well spent.
Provided you don't mind going straight
to hell.
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